Understanding the Struggle
Look, everyone knows that in order to be successful, you’ve got to stop caring so much about what other people think. But let’s be real—it’s not that easy. Especially when you’re being misunderstood by people you love or judged by people who don’t even know you. You might find yourself paralyzed by fear, worrying about what others think about you. It’s hard to break free from that, and it’s not as simple as just deciding that you don’t care anymore.
There are deeper issues that need to be addressed before you can break free from caring too much about what others think. It’s about taking a deep dive into your own beliefs and desires. This journey isn’t straightforward, but it’s necessary for personal growth.
And hey, if you stay until the end of today’s episode, you’ll find out why I’m wearing sunglasses inside a studio with no sun. So, let’s dive in. Welcome to Success Sundays with Harrison. I’m your host, Harrison Wilder. I’m a corporate strategist and entrepreneur with an executive MBA from George Washington University. I’ve managed two multi-million dollar companies and I advise top-level executives from various industries. In this show, you’ll find practical insights that will help you succeed as a leader in today’s business environment.
My Journey: From Rejection to Self-Acceptance
If you want to know my deepest, darkest secret, it’s that I don’t really care too much about what other people think. But it wasn’t always this way. For most of my life, I suffered from rejection. I often found myself on the outside of social circles, especially during middle school. I wanted to be on the inside, but it felt like no one wanted to let me in.
To cope with this, I decided that I didn’t need to be part of any social circle. I believed I had a higher calling, and if others couldn’t see how special I was, that was on them. This wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with rejection, but it contributed to who I am today. However, I’m not immune to wondering what others think about me, especially when it comes to public speaking.
I remember the first time I had to prepare a message and speak in front of a group. After a radical experience with the Lord in high school, I wanted to share this with others. I planned a big prayer rally at the local amphitheater and started promoting it. One local Methodist church youth pastor invited me to speak to their middle and high school students.
On the day of the event, I was terrified. I envisioned everything going terribly. When it was my turn to speak, I froze. I was so worried about what the students thought of me that I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to say. I ended up turning it back over to the guy with the guitar. It was a disaster.
Why Do We Care So Much?
We’ve been raised to care about what others think. Our environment and culture reinforce this mindset. Stepping outside of this norm feels dangerous. But the truth is, we will never free ourselves from caring about others’ opinions until we start taking personal responsibility for our lives.
You have to decide what you believe, who you’re becoming, and what you’re moving towards. Owning these decisions means no one else can control your life. This especially applies to your deeply held beliefs. If you need others to believe in you, those beliefs might not be as deeply anchored in you as you think.
Owning Your Beliefs
One way to free yourself from others’ opinions is to truly own your beliefs. Decide what you believe after thorough research, reflection, and input from those who care about you. When you truly believe something, you won’t need others to agree with you. Their opinions won’t affect you as much.
Recognizing Seasonal Relationships
Another reason we care about others’ opinions is our investment in relationships. Sometimes, we don’t realize that some relationships are seasonal. Not everyone is meant to go the whole way with you. It might be painful to let go, but it’s necessary for your growth.
Jesus assured his disciples that anyone who leaves relationships to follow Him will be taken care of. Applying this to your life, when you follow your purpose, you might need to leave some relationships behind. But know that new people will come into your life to fulfill those relational needs.
Giving Others Time
Some people need time to understand your journey. They might not have the same convictions as you. Give them space to figure it out. This is especially important with close family members. Invite them to join you on your journey, but allow them to come along at their own pace.
Helping Over Impressing
One major reason we care about others’ opinions is the desire to impress. This is especially true in public speaking. If you’re more concerned with impressing your audience than helping them, you’ll be consumed by their opinions. Shift your focus to helping others. When you aim to provide value, you’ll perform better and feel less anxious about their thoughts.
Success Challenge of the Week
I don’t usually recommend this, but for an exercise, do something unusual that might make others think, “What are you doing?” This is to assess why it makes you uncomfortable and what underlying issues it brings up. For instance, wear a pair of sunglasses inside a studio with no sun. Reflect on the thoughts and feelings that arise. What are you concerned about? Jot down these insights as a way to understand why you care so much about what others think.
If you have any questions or topics you’d like me to cover in future episodes, post them in the comments. I love hearing from you and creating content that is helpful. My team will review your ideas for future episodes. Until then, have a great week and see you in the next episode.
And remember, great businesses and great leaders are built using effective communication. For more resources, go to speakingschool.com and grab my Elite Business Success Toolkit for free when you try out our speaking school membership. That’s speakingschool.com. See you next time.