Pages Menu
TwitterFacebook
Categories Menu

Posted by on Jul 31, 2013 in Generational | 0 comments

Who STARTS the Honor Cycle?

Who STARTS the Honor Cycle?

After you’ve identified a cyclical relationship like the Honor Cycle a natural question to ask is, “Who goes first?” Who should step out and jump-start this cycle? I remember sitting in Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’s marriage seminar, surrounded by couples looking for help improving their relationships, when this question came up in regard to a different cycle between men and women, Love & Respect. He paused for a moment, looked up at the eager crowd and answered, “I always say, let whoever is most mature go first.” [TWEET THIS]

What a perfect response! It shifts our thoughts away from who owes whom and who has neglected whom the most, to who is ready to take a step toward healing or improving the relationship. Who is ready to put themselves aside for a moment and put the other person first?

Of course, with young children, parents have the first opportunity to speak blessing long before the child even understands the concept of honor. But an adult child is perfectly able to kick the cycle off by looking for ways to honor their parent. It really doesn’t matter who starts. The trick is to be selfless, preferring the other, meeting their needs with no expectations in return. If you can accomplish this, you’ll see a huge difference in your relationship that will grow for years to come. Over time the other person will likely begin to respond naturally in ways that meet your own needs.

Who will start the Honor Cycle in your relationships?

Read More

Posted by on Jul 8, 2013 in Generational | 2 comments

How to Start Releasing Blessing to Others

How to Start Releasing Blessing to Others

Releasing Blessing is a powerful part of the Honor Cycle.

Here’s what you’ll need to get started:

(Don’t limit its potential to your children, only. Think how you can use its power to build students, mentees, spiritual children and other people around you.)

1)    Understand the Power of Your Blessing. (tweet this)

The Bible says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” The words you speak over your children have a tremendous impact.

2)    Separate Your Child’s Behavior from their Identity. (tweet this)

You probably understand your responsibility as a parent to correct inappropriate behavior. What you may not know is that these moments are ripe with opportunity to bless (or curse) your child.

3)    Let God Empower Your Blessing. (tweet this)

Chances are that blessing was not perfectly modeled for you as a child. That doesn’t have to be a setback. Faith in God is the perfect remedy, both as a model of blessing and as a source of empowerment.

4)    Let the Blessing Flow! (tweet this)

I’ve learned that you don’t have to be conservative with your blessing. Make blessing your children a part of your lifestyle.

Got Questions? What would you like to know about releasing your blessing?

Read More

Posted by on Jul 5, 2013 in Generational | 0 comments

What Does ‘Honor’ Mean?

What Does ‘Honor’ Mean?

The concept of honor is lost on our generation. (tweet this)

The word honor has such a wide variety of meanings, it’s hard to know where to start. Here are just a few from dictionary.reference.com

  • Integrity in one’s beliefs or actions
  • A source of distinction
  • A title of respect
  • The privilege of teeing off first in a hole of golf
  • Having a high trump card in a game of bridge
  • Worship
  • Accepting a method of payment
  • To salute with a bow

It is no wonder people have difficulty understanding and applying honor in relationships! I believe if you can grasp its true meaning, you will find honor much easier to put to practice and you will start receiving its benefits. Practicing honor is one side of the Honor Cycle.

What does honor mean to you?

Read More

Posted by on Jul 2, 2013 in Generational | 0 comments

What does ‘Blessing’ mean?

What does ‘Blessing’ mean?

The Honor Cycle works synergistically among generations. You have the opportunity to initiate the cycle in two directions: first, by practicing honor toward your parents, and then by purposefully releasing a blessing over your children.

Blessing sounds to me like such a spiritual thing. And while it is deeply spiritual, it doesn’t have to be that far-out of a concept. One of the first recorded blessings was actually from God, when he first created Man.

“God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.[1]

Like this charge from God, blessings are simply words that come from the heart and speak identity and purpose over another person. When those words are inspired by God and received by the hearer, they have power to shape the future.

Biblically, the blessing of a parent is extremely special. In his final moments, Jacob lined up his children and blessed each of them[2]. His words became accurate predictions of their future. When the writer of Hebrews referenced this moment, he used the Greek word eulogeo for the blessing that Jacob gave. I love this definition of that word: “to cause to prosper.”[3] When you speak words of blessing over your children, you set them up to prosper in every realm of life! (tweet this)

 Releasing Blessing is the other side of the Honor Cycle. It works hand in hand with Practicing Honor to empower generations to build a more prosperous future, one on the other.

 

Practically speaking, what does releasing blessing mean to you?

Read More

Posted by on Jun 28, 2013 in Generational | 0 comments

Father Forgets

Father Forgets

I discovered this poem inserted into Dale Carnegie’s How to win Friends and Influence People. What do you think about what the author is communicating? One of my next posts will be about Blessing, a powerful part of the Honor Cycle. This poem is a great way to introduce the topic.

“Father Forgets” by W. Livingston Larned  [tweet this]

Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, form a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing buy a boy – a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

What do you think about what the author is communicating?

Read More